I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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