I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I want a musical about memes.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
