Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
