can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
