you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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