Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.

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(315): View more from New York

Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow

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(970): View more from Colorado

I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(360): View more from Washington

I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.

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(+04): View more from

I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.

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(830): View more from Texas

I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?

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(224): View more from Illinois

And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.

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(850): View more from Florida

I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.

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