all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything