is your mom at the bar?
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Someone signed my nipple.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
