Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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