her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
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Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER