Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
