Banned from zoo.
Again?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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