how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
