if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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