so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
