I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Soap is not a condiment
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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