she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
