the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
