i think i have herpe
just one?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
