The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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