well I can't set my house on fire every night
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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