i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
