yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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