I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
