Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
