so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
