it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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