So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize