I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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