i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
