I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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