I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
