Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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