too bad you live with your parents still
i came on her dog
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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