hell yes lets make some ravioli
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We're too hungover to prance.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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