there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
