I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
