wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
