I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
