If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
