I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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