I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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