That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
