I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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