that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
