guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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