i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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