All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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