Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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