420 ftw
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
