The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
