Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
