you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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