Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
