life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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