I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
