my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
