I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
