Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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