I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
