Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
