she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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